So Fake Of Me.
location~ Home Sweet Home.
thought~ Faking myself is another kind of self protection.
I hate myself for not being myself. I hate myself to fake smile at people. I dislike social talk, empty topic, empty mind, I feel rather miserable.
Do I need to fake myself to survive? I try to be friendly to people, but at the same time I’m betraying myself. When the friendliness is not from the heart, the subconscious in me is telling myself, this person is my hi-bye friend.
I do see a lot of people around who mingle well with almost everyone, they have endless topic to talk to all levels of people, they seems so lovable and cheerful. There’s once I tried, I praised someone, but the hidden voice is telling me “No, that’s ugly”, I felt myself very pretentious by doing so. There is uneasy in me.
So shallow me. I wanna be myself.
September 18th, 2007 at 8:00 pm
come come, show me your palm. i ‘read’ u ur life.
u r too creepy and too intelligent. u feel u r able to dissect people’s mind even before they about to voice out their thoughts. this is why ‘normal’ people doesnt interests you, and why shallow talk irritates you.
you have very serious case here…. maybe change ur perception a little bit will help. maybe start thinking that even the dumbest people have something u can learn from.
anyway…go and burn and drink this “god-fish”. Hummmmmm
September 18th, 2007 at 8:49 pm
How much ang pau?
Ya true, even dumbest ppl have something I can learn from.
I don’t like talking to those pretentious ppl but rather talk to auntie who clean the toilet, the myanmar guy who clean the floor.. Ahhh….got medicine ah?
September 18th, 2007 at 9:08 pm
A little bit as ‘meaning’ can already. Just drop the red packet in this milo tin.
No medicine. just burn this god-fish and drink with little water. ur intelligence and cool-ness will drop by few points.
September 19th, 2007 at 8:28 am
hey…you talk to the same group of people as i do? i also prefer talking to the cleaners, at least we can talk freely with them.
September 19th, 2007 at 9:54 am
Haha….there is not much ppl in our office area.
September 26th, 2007 at 12:50 am
Yeah, i hate that too. I had to wear different kinda ‘masks’ each time. So now i rather just zip my mouth, pan cool n to hell with what they wanna say